Marriage: “I Think There Are Irreconcilable Differences In My Marriage”

“If we really want to protect the sanctity of marriage, we’d start by abolishing no-fault divorce” Matt Walsh tweets…

Matt Walsh found himself receiving a haul over the coals (so to speak) by a reader who found offense in a few of Matt’s Tweets regarding the topic of divorce. Having read Matt’s Tweets, and having read the reader’s letter, it seems to me that the reader is in a place of invested hearing when it comes to what the Lord would require of him, and Matt has very reasonably laid out the supporting argument.

Can I suggest that it is *so* important that we allow open dialogue, encourage open and honest dialogue in the church on this issue, rather than treat it as the elephant in the room? And I know it is hard, certainly very hard, for so many people, for so many reasons, to talk about it. And yet talk we *must*. With courage, with compassion, with truth “on point”, with love, with humility, and with more courage.

I offer the following splicing of quotes from Matt’s article (response), and then a link to the full article following that.

“As far as my own marriage goes, the differences are many. I don’t think they can all be reconciled, and I’m sure I wouldn’t want them to be.

For one thing, my wife is a woman and I’m not. If that ain’t an irreconcilable difference, I don’t know what is….

She’s an extrovert. She’s a small talker. She’s a morning person. She likes to watch HGTV and come up with ideas for new decorative thingamajigs to hang on the wall in the kitchen. She puts the Wiggles CD on for the kids and sings along to it. She’s unreasonably irritated by the sound of a knife scratching against a plate. She hates long car rides. She gets mad at movies if they don’t have happy endings…She’s gets weirdly freaked out by geese. She likes frogs. She bites her finger nails. She’s empathetic. She’s incredibly friendly. She loves to be around people. She’ll laugh with you or cry with you because she can really feel what you feel….She listens. She’s not afraid to be vulnerable.

In other words, she’s the exact opposite of me in so many ways. The list could go on for 10 pages, and I’m sure it’ll be a hundred more by the time we reach our 10th anniversary. I’m not like her. I’m different. She’s different. And that will never change, nor do I expect or want it to.

Sure, we have things in common. We’re both pretty disorganized and forgetful. We both procrastinate. We both drink way too much coffee. We’re both hardheaded and stubborn. These are what you might call “irreconcilable similarities,” and they probably cause more trouble for us than all of the differences combined.

I know I lack the wisdom and the resume to teach anyone anything — especially if the subject is marriage — but I do know that this institution isn’t hinged on compatibility and commonality, no matter what Match.com insists. Marriage is a sacrament built on love, sacrifice, and self-denial. Our love for our spouses should mirror Christ’s love for us, and I can’t help but notice that Christ never said, “Sorry guys, but we’re just not that compatible. Looks like I won’t be able to die for you. I think I just need to work on myself for a while, you know?”

You say you’re a Christian. I believe you. Well, look at what the Bible says about love. And not just what it says, but what it shows. It tells a story of a Love that is painful and beautiful. One that gives, fights, sacrifices, cries, laughs, screams, dies, and lives again. We can choose to have this sort of marriage or not, but it is a choice, either way….

Don’t listen to anything I say. But listen to Christ.

But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Mark 10:6-9)

And this is the same Lord who “would have wanted” you to divorce? Here he is quite plainly saying, “no, not only do I not want you to, but you literally can’t.” You are one flesh. What God has joined, let no one separate. No one. Marriage is not soluble…”

You’ll find the article in it’s entirety here: I Think There Are Irreconcilable Differences In My Marriage by Matt Walsh